Tuesday, February 8, 2011

It pleases me to no end

To announce to you, that I have been nominated as Mother of the Year. I feel strongly that I will be adding. This years trophy to my collection.

In the event that you're hoping to be nominated next, I'm going to showcase my amazing skills for you. Right here. Right now.

1. Lay in bed. All.Day.

2. Cook and/or prepare no more than two meals in the same number of weeks.

3. Beg anyone that will listen to shoot you.

4. Let your preschoolers watch tv and play Wii more in two weeks then your older children have watched/played in their lifetimes.

5. Allow your husband to wait on you hand and foot. Willingly, I might add. He has already won husband of the year award in my eyes.

6. Dont do the first load of laundry for, again, two weeks.

7. Don't hug or kiss your kids for fear of throwing up because they "stink" like boys.

And last but not least,

8. Day dream of having a miscarriage so you don't have to feel like you wish you were dead anymore.

There you have it folks. I more than likely, am winning for sure.


XLMIC said...

Awwwww, Beth! I'd come over and rub your feet and do your laundry if I didn't live 2000 miles away! Just keep your eye on the prize ;-) That's my best advice!

Serial Mommy said...

We have ALL been there. Add miserably 8/9 months pregnant with twins in the middle of the summer and that's how I was in 2009. This too shall pass, even though it feels like right now it will never end.

Janice said...

Beth you are too funny! I tell ya, adoption is much easier-- tons of paperwork but NO morning sickness!! I hope you feel better and more energized soon!

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